Tag Archives: fear


If you are anything like me there are times you like to get scared.  Halloween is always one of those times in our house.  We fill our time with scary movies, haunted houses and lots of tricks and treats.  Fear in a setting where we ultimately know we are safe can be an enjoyable experience but what happens when we dive into our deepest fears?  Those fears that keep us awake at night and the ones that we don’t feel safe with?  These fears that feel real and that can control how we move in the world, such as fear of death, fear of losing a job or fear of living life can come from different places.  They can come from a difficult past event in the form of conditioning, such as someone who has been in a bad car accident being afraid to ride in a car.  They can come from the mind, such as someone who is afraid of death because they don’t know what will become of them when they die or they fear that the people they leave behind will not be okay.

Ultimately, fear is misunderstanding.  This isn’t to downplay what can be a very powerful and real emotion, it is to bring light to a false perception, which is a gift if you allow it to happen.  The misunderstanding is generally that everything is not okay.  We tend to want things to go a certain way in life.  We want to be happy, we want to be healthy, we want our friends and family to be happy and healthy, but as we all know, this isn’t always the case.  Something happens and we think that things have gone wrong because they are not going the way we want them to.  What happens if we let go of that?  What happens when we just let things happen without the thought of “that is good”, “that is bad”  or “this is right”, “this is wrong”?  When we stop arguing with reality there is a contentment that comes along with every situation, no matter what it is.  When you stop letting your thoughts dictate the rightness or wrongness of any situation there is peace, no matter what.  For example, a friend of mine’s son just broke his arm in an accident.  It was a pretty bad break and, of course, it is never fun to see your child hurt.  The boy, who is 5, is incredible to watch through all of this.  Never does he say something like “how could this have happened?” or “why did this have to happen to me?”.  He simply goes with it.  Yes, his arm bothers him at times and yes the cast gets in the way but he doesn’t look at it as if it should be any other way.  He accepts it as it is, like most 5 year olds will do with something like this.  On the other side, my friend, the boy’s dad, is suffering greatly because he is telling himself consistently that this event should not have happened.  He’s telling himself how terrible it is that this happened to his son.  Who is suffering more?  The son, who has the broken arm and has accepted the reality of it, or the dad, who is constantly telling himself that this is wrong?

Fear manifests itself in the same way.  If you stop and look intently at your fears you can start to see the misunderstanding.  Let’s say you are afraid of death.  Hold that fear of death right in front of you.  Then, even if for only five seconds, stop thinking about it.  What does that feel like?  Five seconds is all it takes to get a taste.  Five seconds is all it takes to find out what it would feel like to be free of that fear.  Five seconds of stopping your thoughts and/or stopping the commentary that tells you something is good, bad or something that you should fear, that’s enough to get a taste and one taste of how that feels is all it takes.  From there you can let that grow into freedom.  As you practice this expand the time,  make it ten seconds…then 20…and so on.  What happens?  Feel it, get a sense for it, make it your meditation.  Before you know it you will be free from it.  The more you do this, the more you let go of the thoughts that tell you something is wrong, the more free you will be.  The thoughts may still come but you begin to see that they are not the truth.  You begin to see that everything is okay exactly the way it is.  If you were to die, everything is okay.  If you were to lose your job, it’s okay.  If you simply have a bad day at work, it’s okay.  Everything is perfect, just the way it is, no matter what.  Once we stop trying to control everything around us, once we stop labeling everything as right, wrong, good and bad we see that YES! everything is fine just as it is.  Whatever happened yesterday, perfect.  Whatever is happening right now, perfect.  Whatever happens tomorrow, perfect.

Five seconds is all it takes to get a sense.  Just five seconds.  So this Halloween when you are done watching those scary movies and walking through those haunted houses, take a moment to investigate one of those fears that you don’t feel safe with.  Take those five seconds and realize that you are always safe, always fine, and that everything is just as it is and just as it should be.  Realize you can be free from fear.


It’s interesting to sit back and observe what goes on in this world when it comes to death.  So much of what happens centers around a fear of it, yet so much is done to facilitate it.  Many strive for more organic food, free of pesticides and GMO’s yet the companies who produce these continue to do so, without much protest.  Many work to lengthen life by taking toxic medications that only work to ultimately make them sicker.  The decision is usually to pop a pill instead of getting to the root of the problem.  People smoke, do drugs and drink, knowing it’s not good for them and could ultimately lead to death.  The list could go on and on.  There is this great fear of death yet so many of our individual and collective actions only bring it on more rapidly.  It’s a curious thing.

What is it about death that frightens us so much?  Many people I know claim to be Christians and believe there is heaven to look forward to in death.  So why the fear if heaven is such a wonderful place?  Other people I know are struggling and suffering greatly, whether it is from financial worry or from health issues etc..  Wouldn’t death then serve as a relief?  Freedom from that suffering?  For me, it used to be the fear of leaving my kids without a mother.  It was that attachment that kept me in fear, as I’m sure it does with others.  We don’t want to let go of this life we were given, for whatever reason.  After all, it is a blessing.

One of the things that waking up does is remove fear, not just fear of death, but all fear.  Once you step back from it and look in its amazing that anyone can truly live an authentic life while surrounded by it.  Fear holds us tightly caged.  Freedom comes when we move through the fear and come out on the other side.  Of all fear, the fear of death is a biggie; the most foreboding of all fears for most people.  When you awaken that fear slowly (or for some quickly) fades away.  It can be said that waking up is like a death, but not a physical death.  It’s the death of ego.  The death of all that is false, taken place by what is true and in truth there is no fear.

This doesn’t explain, however, why there is such a fear of death yet the human race does so much to perpetuate it.  When I look out from the perspective of the truth it would seem as if we all know, even before awakening, that truth exists.  The human desire for death (usually subconscious) could be that the truth is trying to tell us something.  Not that we should die a physical death, but that we should allow our “selves” to die, while living.  This is freedom.  This is freedom from fear.  But because we are so wrapped up with what is going on around us we don’t take enough time to stop and look at this and we should.  Not looking at this is what creates the confusion.  It’s not our physical death we are pushing toward, even though it seems that way, because that is the only death most understand, but instead it’s a desire for the truth to surface.  In order for that to happen there needs to be a death of self, a death of separation, a death of ego, a death of the false with a birth into the truth.

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it is going to be a butterfly.  But here we have it.  The caterpillar makes its cocoon and when it re-emerges it is a butterfly.  The caterpillar didn’t die.  It’s life is still intact.  The only difference with its transformation is that now it has wings to fly.  And how beautiful is it that we were given this perfect example within nature to observe what death in life looks like.  All we need to do now is listen and learn from that example.  Let your ‘self’, your ego, be the one to die and you too will gain the wings to fly.


[tweetmeme]I’ve been hearing a lot of people lately say that you need to face your fears.  When I hear this it reminds me of a story I was once told.  Let’s say you are stuck down at the bottom of a well in the dark with a monster (your fears).  There is someone up above yelling down to you and telling you to face the monster, telling you to face your fears.  You face the monster time and time again.  You feel brave and courageous because you are facing the monster head on.  The problem with this is that you are still stuck in the well.  As long as you stay down in the well the monster will always come back in one form or another, always.  So why don’t you just climb out of the well?  Climbing out of the well into the light is where freedom is.

Fears are illusions.  They are created in your mind based on past experience and conditioning.  Instead of staying in the well, miring around with your fears and the monsters that haunt you, realize them for what they are and climb out.  If the person at the top of the well is someone who is telling you to face the monster instead of throwing you a rope to climb out I would highly question their expertise in the matter because, most likely, they are stuck in their own well.

I’ve talked about this before and a common response is usually something along the lines of, “fear can be beneficial” or “fear can be used to move us into action”.  Perhaps this is so, but when you realize your fears for what they are and climb out of the well you come to a place where action moves from a much more powerful and effective place.  You realize quite quickly that the benefits you thought you gained or the action you were moved toward was nothing compared the this new found fearless space.  It doesn’t compare.

Come and see for yourself.  Don’t believe me.  Try it.  Climb out of the well and be free.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised.  There is, quite literally, nothing to be afraid of.